How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome with Transformational Coach Scott Forgey
Listen to Episode 53 of Out to Launch on Spotify or Apple.
The collaboration episodes with my executive coach Scott Forgey are a mini-series in Out To Launch. Listen to the entire podcast or read the highlights below.
Have you ever felt worried that you aren’t good enough?
Or that your co-workers or friends are finally going to figure out that you are a fake or a fraud? Maybe you feel you don’t deserve the accomplishments, title, or success you have? If you have ever had any of these or similar thoughts running through your mind, then let me reassure you are NOT alone. About 70% of all people deal with feeling imposter syndrome, either at some point or chronically.
Scott Forgey has had the pleasure of coaching top executives from all fields, award-winning architects and designers, Oscar and Tony-winning actors, Grammy award-winning musicians and composers, athletes in NBA, NFL, and Formula 1, renowned chefs, and tech startup geniuses. He also is a coach for the big guys like Google, LinkedIn, PayPal, and Patreon.
If you were Luke, Scott would be your Yoda
Scott is a master with building capacities in people and between people and has led programs for over 100,000 people all over the world. His company, UN, brings together all the goodies from Silicon Valley and innovative thinking with the wisdom and practices of advanced consciousness development. The philosophy behind UN is that your entire life is operating as one expression. There is no work-life to balance because every aspect of your life is aligned and filled with passion.
Imagine operating your life from this place?
Leslie: Working with Scott is indescribable. He has positively affected my life with his coaching and we have now transitioned to partners in crime. Our crime is sharing tools and resources and conversations with as many people as we can because we want to empower people to fulfill their fullest potential in the world.
Join us for our upcoming series on the Out to Launch Podcast with Scott. You don’t want to miss this. These conversations are here to expand your mind and your results and your experience of life. Now is a good time to subscribe or get on the email list for upcoming reminders here.
Conversations of Imposter Syndrome
Scott: As we become successful in the world, whether it’s a startup, something new, or work, you stop to look around and say to yourself, “how do I really know what I am doing? Why did these people trust me so much? Do I deserve the success I’m having?” Maybe something’s in the background where you’re like, this is going well, but I’m worried? It’s like the sword of Damocles is hanging over your head. Like this could go away at any moment.
It gives you the sense that you’re almost living someone else’s life. You worry, question yourself, and that question is what we call imposter syndrome.
No matter what, you will drop the ball now and then
Even professional athletes drop the ball. That just happens in the natural process of going through life. No matter what kind of athlete you are, you drop the ball now and then. The thing is, most professional athletes just go “well, that’s the way it went. I’ll try again”.
Unlike professional athletes, for most of us, it’s like we never want to have that experience again. We as humans tend to project the paths we have taken, the experiences we have had, and the emotions we have felt into the future as part of who we are.
What can I learn from this?
Begin by asking yourself transformative questions that will help turn self-doubt into lessons. What did this event teach me? What is the lesson here?
I AM statements
As children, we start off in life as radiant human beings filled with unlimited power. Along your youthful journey, you experience something or some-things that triggers self-doubt. That sense of self fades away based on those negative incidents and what you make them mean about who you are.
So, it’s not like, oh I dropped the ball and failed. I AM a failure is what your self-statement forms and runs like a program in the background. You make these I AM statements about who you are; you drag that forward to the future. For how long? Forever.
It’s no wonder when you reach adulthood around about 20 or 25, and expectations arise, those messages plague you about your past failures. You are carrying around those I AM a failure; I AM bad statements; or you can’t rely on me.
With all the lessons you have put on yourself from your past failures, you end up creating an especially heavy version of yourself. In the background, your brain remembers third grade. Remember the test? What if this goes bad? What if you can’t do this? What if I say something completely wrong?
3 Keys to shifting out of the trap
Be present right here right now.
Reframe the concept of failure (Failure isn't bad or wrong, it's something that didn't work so, you try something else).
Put the time in to build your capacities and capabilities.
Building Self-Confidence
The way to build your confidence comes from doing something and succeeding after a couple of runs or over time. You will prove to yourself you are capable. You are ready to go to the next level. Now, when you go to the next level, you’re going to fail and fall. After a while, you will learn the lessons and reach success once again. Those series of successes are where you build self-confidence.
Comparison kills possibilities
Comparison is the thief of joy. We are comparing ourselves all the time. When we compare, we look at ourselves versus someone else’s highlights. We only see the results people are producing right now. We think we should be able to produce those results instantly.
By comparing ourselves, we eliminate the possibility. It is that (their success) or nothing. If it's not that, it means we're not good enough.
To learn the lesson, go into it with an inquiry
If we focus on our capacity at this moment and ask ourselves transformative questions. What are we doing and where are we headed? Are we headed in the right direction? Are we seeing successes? That sense that we are a fraud or we will never make it, fades away quietly.
When I talk to people who play at a considerably high level, they have days they don’t feel they played well. Whether they are professional football players or musicians, they may feel it’s not their best performance, but they don’t question who they are. They believe in themselves. Sometimes they have off days. Getting this resolved within yourself is useful.
5 Takeaways:
Breathe. Breathing is the best way to interrupt the feelings of anxiety and nervousness. Take 3 deep belly breaths and hold for a second. This will oxygenate your brain and reset.
Separate yourself from failure. You are not a success and you are not a failure. You’re whole and complete, having an experience.
Build your confidence. Take on projects that prove your capabilities.
Commit to learning. Reframe failure with the question “what did I learn?”
Don’t live in the land of comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your starting and square one to someone else’s years of practice, experience, and work.
If you would like to learn more about Scott and the work he does with individuals and companies, you can find out more on his website.
Now is a great time to hit the subscribe button to make sure you do not miss an episode. Also, if you want to receive email reminders when these episodes with Scott are released, click here to get added to our mailing list.
About
Every week (or so!) there is a new episode released to help people learn how to start a business, a new project, or start that new chapter in life. The Out to Launch podcast is brought to you by Cutclass, a company designed by and for those exhausted from the rat race, MBAs, ex-executives, subject matter experts, and creatives. We will help you transition into your dream of achieving full-time freedom and turning your passions into a rewarding, thriving business.
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Article by Leslie Levito with Stefanie Joseph
