Networking in a New Country
Listen to Episode 1 of Allergic to Small talk on Spotify or Apple.
In this blog I share networking tips that saw me build my network in a new city in a new country AND sign my first $20,000 contract.
Okay, so first, let’s set the scene. I’m a California native who lived in New York for 2 years before I moved to the U.K. My husband, Chris, is English and we’ve been together for nearly 7 years now, but we’ve never lived in the same country. We had a little boy in NYC in 2017, 6 months later, in March of 2018 our son and I moved to England to join my husband and start our new life together in the city of Newcastle.
When you land in a new city, or a new country, it can be pretty daunting (to say the least). If it’s anything like my story, you’re far away from home and you don’t have any close friends or family around. So how on earth do you begin to transition into building fruitful relationships and growing a network when quite literally everyone except your husband and your son are complete strangers?! Here’s how!
#1: Let It Go
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How do I grow my network in a new city” start by dropping any preconceived notions. Preconceived notions are an opinion formed before an event even happens and without any adequate evidence.
Let me give you an example.
I like to work out and I’m pretty sure I’ve tried almost every type of workout, but last year, for the very first time I went to this gym called: Method Training. During my induction, I learned that there are two parts to the workout, lifting and then a cardio aspect with some lifting too. After I went to my first class, I fell in love with the workout.
A few months prior to me joining Method Training, the gym had originally been called “CrossFit Northumbria”. They had rebranded to “Method Training” just before I came to the UK, but it was still a freakin’ CrossFit gym.
Now guess what? The ONLY workout I vowed NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS to try was “CrossFit” because I had preconceived ideas that I simply wouldn’t like it. From thinking my bones would break with all the crazy lifts, to assuming that CrossFit was just filled with beefy people and the ever growing that fear I wouldn’t be able to keep up or connect with the other women there, I had created this entire scenario in my head. Talking myself out of CrossFit before even giving it a go. And yet here I ACTUALLY WAS giving it a go completely unaware! (Needless to say, I’ve been a member of Method Training for many years now. And on top of shattering all of my preconceived notions about CrossFit, I’m physically stronger and mentally healthier now too!)
Preconceived notions cost us A LOT of missed out opportunities. Opportunities that sometimes we never knew existed.
Once we allow ourselves to search for truth, and open our minds to possibilities that exist outside our own reality and thoughts, it's only then that we can grab on to an understanding that is real.
My gym is a great place to build a network and connect with some incredibly awesome and like-minded people.
#2: Don’t Have Expectations
The beauty of expectations is that WE have the power to create them. Almost the flip side of preconceived notions. While preconceived notions are based on no evidence that form an opinion, expectations are built solely on previous experiences.
Let’s play this out.
When I used to attend networking events in America, usually I was greeted cheerfully. There was eggs, bacon, sausage and juice or a full lunch being served, and everyone sat at tables to mix and mingle.
In England, I learned that at networking events, usually everyone stands around in a room and more often, than not, you are only served light refreshments like a cup of coffee. And at the more upmarket events “a bacon sarnie”.
In the beginning I used to think, “well first of all, I don’t even like caffeine, and second of all, what the heck is a bacon SARNIE?!”
My expectations were based on my previous experience of the U.S and when that expectation wasn’t met, there’s no denying that I got triggered and even a little annoyed. But that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Most of my networking experience was in the U.S so that expectation had to be let go…
So, what result should you expect when attending networking events?
That’s simple. To start networking in a new country, you should go in with an open mind and expect nothing more than to make some incredibly interesting and meaningful connections. (Regardless of the set up and drink choices on offer.)
#3: Give Yourself Some Grace & Time
I arrived in England in March of 2018. I took about 6 months to settle in as a wife and a mother in the U.K. because in America, I went back to work when our son was only 7 weeks old. So, I took this opportunity to take it slower and truly find my feet in England. So I started to network 8 weeks into my new life, in November 2018.
At the start, I was SO frustrated. Things in England are slower than America, and SO MUCH slower than New York. I was settled in, rested and ready to rock n’ roll. I wanted to go to this event, that event, connect with everyone I could. But my gosh...I didn’t even know where to begin over here. In the past, I had almost always worked for a company and those companies already had existing networking ties ready and waiting for me to simply pick up and run with. This time around, it was totally different because I was working for myself and I didn’t know where to go to find people to connect with. I only knew my husband, our son, and my in-laws.
Cue my learning:
I gave myself time to look up events and groups on EventBrite.
I had to make calls to find out more info about these events or groups -
Now insert a roadblock: Customer service is so slow in most of the UK so I had to wait for several callbacks which could be a day or more. The person I was trying to get in contact with to find out more info was literally always unavailable. (Talk about frustrating!)
Cue further learning...
I had to look up businesses in a specific industry or sector and do the research on the person that I wanted to meet with in that specific business. This took time, BUT…
When I shifted my mind from being hyper-task-oriented to just giving myself some time to learn, I relieved a lot of unnecessary stress and worry.
#4: Prepare Yourself
Once you know which groups are right for you, and you’ve identified the person you want to speak to, you’ll want to prepare for those meetups! (Now listen, you’re not prepping to go to war here. You just need to know what the heck to take with you.)
I remember the night before attending one of my first networking meetings in England, I was trying to print off business cards from my cheap ol’ HP printer. I mean, I had a business card designed, but the printed cards hadn’t arrived in the mail yet (told you the UK was so slow!).
In an effort to show up prepared for my meeting, I went to England’s equivalent of Best Buy and bought some thick paper. Threw that paper into the printer and printed my business cards, and tried to cut them myself. Yep, you read that right, I was SO worried about being prepared, I showed up to my first networking meeting with jacked up business cards from my HP Printer. Ouch! You want to know the worst part; I was in the branding industry. W. T. F. How embarrassing!
So, the moral of this story is to prepare yourself, but don’t worry yourself sick about being overly prepared. And don’t EVER try to print your own business cards at home! If you don’t have your business card ready, tell the truth.
Quick Tip! Check out companies like Popl or Tappy. These companies provide you with a tool for your phone to just tap on to someone else’s phone and instantly your contact details are passed on to them. Isn’t that cool?
#5: Set Realistic Goals
If there’s anything I’ve learnt it’s that you can't manage what you don't measure and you certainly can't improve upon something that you don't properly manage. Enter goal setting.
The best way to network in a new city or country is to create 2 realistic goals for your networking. Key word here - realistic!
It’s highly unlikely that you will create a meaningful relationship the first time out of the gate. This isn’t burning man, alright? You’re not going to meet your highest connection on day 1. So, when you create goals, ensure they are simple, attainable, and measurable.
Here are my goals from my first year in England:
Get my son to nursery and attend 2 networking events per week.
Each week, have at least one 1-2-1 outside of networking with a person you met at networking.
Yep. That was it. I kept it real, super simple, attainable given the time I had each week, I had plenty of time to measure them. The best part is these small, consistent actions added up to me signing my first $20,000 contract and I was invited to my first English wedding (not just the night-do either, the ACTUAL wedding!)
When you think about creating goals for networking in a new country, maybe consider:
Two days a week, spend 10 minutes reaching out to a new group or to find activities you’d be interested in in your area.
Activate a connection with a dormant tie (What’s that you ask? Find out right here ) - Not all of your work needs to be done in that country!!!
Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t achieve them. It’s all about the progress here, not perfection. Keep as consistent as you can but let yourself some slack if you need it.
#6: See What Sticks
If you wondered how you’re going to build a world class network when you move to a new city, just see what sticks.
Firstly, See what sticks for YOUR networking style. If you don’t know your networking style, take my short quiz here to find out.
Secondly, identify your interests. Here is what I want you to do:
Write down a list of 5 things you are genuinely interested in, maybe cooking, yoga, underwater basket weaving, beanie babies, Disney… Whatever you are interested in, write it down.
Once you have your list written, go to Google and search: Your interest plus the city you live in. See what comes up!
If you can’t find a group then let me know! Tag me on Instagram in a post or story with what you’re interested in, and I’ll look for you! I’m here to help as much as I can so seriously, put me to the test!!
#7: Share Stories
Once you find a group that binds your interests and new location, what the heck do you talk about?
Well, lucky for you I’ve been using Networking Tip # 7 throughout this entire blog: sharing stories.
Shift your mindset from “what should I talk about” to “What can I share?” People LOVE learning about others.
I shared a story about my preconceived notions about how CrossFit was filled with meat heads, but then found out it wasn’t at all. Maybe this made you think about a time where preconceived notions got the better of you. I also shared a story about how I showed up to a meeting with shotty business cards. Again, another story that won’t leave you in a hurry.
Sharing stories allows people to relate to you. When people can relate to you, you can start to build a genuine relationship . No matter what country or city you’re in, stories are our universal language!
So go on, give these a try!
Moving to a new county or city can be daunting but it can also create some of the most LIFE CHANGING and CAREER DEFINING moments you’ll ever encounter - where you’ll truly grow as a person and meet some incredible people along the way.
Do you have any networking tips that you’d like to share? Hit me up on instagram at ItsRoGroh or at LetsCutClass. You can also say hello to me in my free Facebook group Allergic to Small Talk.